putting the knit in shizknitz

I have a friend who gave me some good advice.

“I don’t believe in the word ‘try’” he said. “You’re either doing it, or you’re not.”
I jokingly responded, “so you’re not trying to get laid, you’re just NOT getting laid”.

So this is my third time starting back at Weight Watchers. The first time was awesome, second time puttered out. I’ve gained about 12 lbs in the last year, thanks to stressful nights, happy hours, awesome steak in Argentina and just plain stupid eating choices. So I went back again last night. I never hit goal, so this time, I’m going for it.

I’m not trying to lose, I’m losing

This morning I woke up and went to my very first spinning class. Now you have to remember, I can run 2 hours perfectly fine… but this… kicked my ass. Bless Tienshiao for even waking up at that hour, and god bless him for coming along and staying the ENTIRE CLASS.

I LOVED IT. The loud music, the dark room, the intensity, the burn. It was all so different from the challenges of running, and it was less pressure on the knees. I want to buy a bike. I can see the allure of a triathlon….. alright I better get to class now

It’s January. So I did today what everyone else is doing this month. I went to Weight Watchers. Perhaps I should say that I went BACK to WW. I’m no newbie, but I haven’t been in a few months (citing my Tues afternoon class making me unable to make it back in time…) and now that I’ve worked my class schedule into two days, Tuesdays are once again a viable option.

There’s been a few changes: the weigh-in process is now electronic. Now you know I’m all for technology but some things just shouldn’t be automated. Now instead of hiding behind the cubicle wall with Judy (the leader, my most favorite leader that works Tues nights), we walk up to her and she is behind the counter. I know we’re in Culver City, but come on. Next thing you know they’ll put up the bullet proof windows like they do at the Jack In The Box on the corner of Overland and Venice. Its harder to get in a hug (or a groan in my case today) when you’re being helped from behind the counter. Once they’ve weighed you in, a little label gets printed out similar to the scientific labels they give you for your urine sample when you go in for your annual physical. This label gets placed in your book, the same book we’ve always had. Since its been a few months and considering its a new system, I started a new book (I have a whole collection of the hand-written version here at home).

The first of the year brings in lots of new people. It’s almost comical what you hear while you wait.

“Weigh in next week? Are they kidding? I was hoping for some weight loss once a month. Weekly is just too soon.” (have they ever watched The Biggest Loser?)

“I ate this hummus from Trader Joes and after eating it [the container] it said it had something like 16 grams of fat. I almost cried. It was only HUMMUS. It didn’t even taste that great. Only the pita chips that I dipped into them did” (and how much fat grams were in those chips??)

“I just want to lose 15 lbs. I can’t wait to get this over with and go back to my normal life.” (and that normal life of yours got you into this mess in the first place!)

“I haven’t weighed in. I’m not waiting in that line. In fact, I’m not even going to pay.” (huh? why are you even here?)

Just like the other January’s past. Judy passed out a worksheet “A Winning Outcome” (note: a sheet to help set goals). I have many copies of them at home. In fact, if I could lose a pound for every copy I have….

update: good news - a weight loss of 4 lbs for this first week!

My new favorite snacks for the new year (and Weight Watchers friendly too!)

1. Safeway Select Clear, Sugar Free, Caffeine Free, Sodium Free, Sparking water beverage
2. Baked Cheetos
3. Clif Bars - instead of buying the WW bars, I buy these for $.99 at Trader Joes, and cut them in half. This makes two, 2 pt bars which taste great. Try the Apple Caramel Cobbler flavor, its super yummy!

I also signed up for the online resources through the WW’s site which supplements the weekly meetings - I bit the bullet because of the neat PDA program they have which helps you journal (probably my biggest vice). It has a nice food search mechanism and points calculator. Online you have access to all the menus (which means no buying their cookbooks!) which I print out and put them in a neat binder. A lot of the recipes are really tasty (i.e. boyfriend eats them). I’ve been attending now for almost 2 years, and I can’t afford to putz around any longer.

Do any of you readers have good suggestions for snacks and foods?
Update - I can no longer buy the Weight Watchers Blueberry Cereal. It was so good I ate the entire box in less than 24 hours.

Okay - does anybody really understand this new Core program at Weight Watchers? I attended on Tuesday night, all excited listening to the stories of my leader and how she’s lost 2 lbs in 5 days but once I got home, I realized I was completely confused! In the last 2 days this is what I have concluded:

FlexPoints - this allows you to eat whatever you want, in moderation.
Core - this allows you to eat more, but out of a limited food group.

What I have actually done? I’ve been so confused that I eat Core foods thinking of them as free points, then do the flexpoints when I want to eat something not in the core food list. Result? I’m just eating. AUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

identity? I had a first happen today….

I went to a meeting with a senior manager and met the project manager on her team. I had email communication with him before and has helped me time and time again but we had never met in person. I arrived a few minutes early at the coffee shop when they entered together. The PM kept looking at me until they reached where I was sitting, where the manager introduced us…..

Manager: PM, this is Shiz from XXXX Dept.
PM: (looking puzzled) What’s your name again?
Manager: This is Shiz….
PM: Have we met before?
Me: No, actually (big smile), but you’ve helped me over email many times. I really appreciate all that you….
PM: (still puzzled) We’ve met before, I know we have..
Me: No, I know we haven’t met before…
PM: and the last time I met you, you were a guy.
Me: No, (a bit shocked) we’ve never met before, and I’ve never been a guy before either.
Manager: No, Shiz is definitely not a guy.
PM: (still unsure) ….hrmm….
Manager walks away to get coffee
Me: (trying to be helpful) … I’ve never met any male Shiz’s before…

This was a first for me - either he’s 1) totally confused, or 2) I really looked like a guy before.

This was a photo taken at work, circa October of 2002, 2.5 months before I started on Weight Watchers. I’ve lost about 45 pounds since then, and have about 10 or so more to go. I still don’t quite believe it myself, but I have a pair of my old Gap loose fit size 14 pants and this photo magnetized on my fridge to remind me of the days long past.

::In my Sex & The City SJP Voice::
There are two main physical attributes which differentiates skinny people from curvy people. I like to refer to them as, the dimples and the hollow ‘v’. What is it that makes them so stand out?

::Shiz Voice::
The only dimples I’ve ever had in my life are both found on my cheeks - the ones when I smile, and the ones on my ass. What the skinny people (we will refer to them as SP from now on) have are these two dimples found on either side of the spinal chord in the lower back area - SP know them as “the small of the back” - and can be seen because of the low cut skirt or jeans they wear. I, on the other hand, am still searching for my spine.

The hollow ‘v’ is quite sexy, especially when found on buff men. I don’t quite know where this is located on my own body, as I am still in search of my hip bones. When you are a SP the hip bones stick out just enough to cast a shadow on the rest of the abdomen area found below. The hollow ‘v’ coupled with a tight abdomen and set of abs can complete the look. My oh-so-lucky-I-didn’t-go-through-acne-or-weight-issues sister has had them her entire life.

::In my Sex & The City SJP Voice::
These SP are their own animal. They purposely wear short skirts and low rise jeans to show off these anatomical parts that are not possessed by non-SPs. What does it actually mean to attain these parts? Once attained, is it a sign of becoming a SP, or are you still forever a non-SP inside?

I went to Yoga in the first time in about 6 months. Let’s face it, I haven’t been regularly going to the gym since September. I’m sure that has some association with the *W* issue. I stopped going to yoga before the gym entirely - I think I got bored, or it became a “chore” rather than something I enjoyed. Either way, I dusted off my yoga bag (which I love, I got the sushi one) and headed out this morning.

This was a new instructor, one that I wasn’t used to. As we started our session, I realized that this was over a year since I first tried Yoga. I’ll never forget my first attempt - I signed up for a $90, 10 week session through Culver City Adult School. Parking was impossible (worse than the Marina Del Rey Costco on a Saturday) and most of the people in the class were older and out of shape which made me feel at ease - until it started. It was this horrible feeling which accentuated my nervousness about being new and of course, my weight (the *W*).

I was okay with the first few poses - lay on your back, bring your knee to your chest, but then it became more intense. Child’s pose, which requires you to sit on your knees (which is a difficult task to do properly when you weigh a significant amount), put your forehead to the ground, and relax your arms to your sides and BREATHE. Okay, this pose did not work for me with all this *W*. First, when I sat on my knees there was so much, well, meat on my thighs and calves that I couldn’t sit down low enough. Then, bending down to put your head on the ground required folding of all the fat around my waist line. As I recalled to my coworkers the next day (as I was trying to be humorous, but serious at the same time) it is next to impossible to fold over all the fat that is already rolled up when you are standing. I went on about how they needed to have “overweight yoga” classes, where they taught you modified positions for the “curvier” people. I eventually modified this position by spreading my knees apart to give room for my belly to fit as I bent over.

Shoulder stance was a worse story - if you don’t know what this is, you are laying flat on your back, then roll your legs over your head until you are on your shoulders, legs over your head and you are supporting your body with your elbows on the ground and hand on your lower back. Whew! Okay when you weigh almost 190 pounds, this is just not possible. I had no strength in my abdomen (what is that? I couldn’t even find it!) or anywhere to even bring my legs over myself like that. I went home that night and had my boyfriend help me hold my legs as I practiced - but it was absolutely embarrassing. All these people twice my age were able to flip themselves over as I sat struggling in mid-air like a turtle stuck on its shell.

So today, not that I’ve lost that much weight since 6 months ago, but it *felt* different. Perhaps it was the new instructor, or that I’ve been away for so long, but all the poses felt good. All the stretches felt accentuated, and it seemed like my breaths were deeper and slower. Child’s pose? No problem. Shoulder stance? I could do all of the bells and whistles that accompanied it. It was one of the best feelings I’ve had in terms of the *W* issue in a long time.

=====
For those who don’t know me personally, I will soon put up details of my weight loss journey so you aren’t so totally confused, stay tuned! - Shiz