putting the knit in shizknitz

 

Wedding portraitOriginally uploaded by tobze.

I hope I’ve not written about this before, since I’ve had this thought often as I’ve grown up.

We don’t live in a vacuum, we all have taken many steps to get to where we are today. But before us, are millions of other steps taken by countless and nameless others that go back hundreds of years who unknowingly set into motion certain events which have created where we are today. Imagine our ancestors hundreds of years ago, as a new son or daughter is born, their hopes and wishes for their future and their children’s children, never knowing or imagining the people of the distant future.

I often wonder about my ancestors, coming from such a small family (and being distant from most of who are my family) the trials and tribulations of their lives.  I am familiar with some stories from the great-grandparents lives, but not much before that.  I remember visiting my great grandfather who was alive during the Meiji era of late 1800’s Japan.  Or the great-grandfather who my father never even knew (his grandfather) who was part of the yakuza and would force his children to pack and move in the middle of the night.  My grandparents who lived through WWII in Japan and the choices they made for survival, dodging bombs, living one day to the next.  My father the rebel who dreamed of moving to the US since he was younger, working, saving, and finally made it to Los Angeles in the early 70’s, my mother whom he fell in love with and proposed within 2 weeks, bringing her to the US against the better judgment of my grandfather (or so he once said). 

Growing up in freezing cold Minnesota, not associating with race but rather being children, singing racist songs that my neighbor taught me to my mom’s horror.  Going to Japanese school on Saturdays, feeling the immediate pressure to succeed, seeing my parents pride in performing well in school.  Memorizing the multiplication table (in Japanese) by the age of 5, which later became a detriment as I could not produce answers in English as quickly.  Moving to California, not quite understanding the difference between Soda and Pop, experiencing the pressures of teenage and high school life, boys, pressures to be thin, to succeed academically, musically.  My ironic and random decision to attend UCLA, my coincidental run in with computers and changes in fate.  A Microsoft brochure in the dormitory mail box which made me apply for an internship which eventually lead me to my current significant other.  The experience which lead me to other jobs after school, influencing others to stay, others to go, others to have opportunities that neither one of us could have imagined.  The waiting list that nearly broke my heart but not my spirit.  Other chances that have come about, propelling me in directions I never imagined.

Even in my own lifetime these small choices and decisions have lead me down many different paths.  How vastly different my life would have been if we had never come to the states.  Probably unrecognizable.  I wonder how my current steps are changing my future generations.  I suppose its not too important - time will erase all memory of them eventually.