putting the knit in shizknitz

I went to Yoga in the first time in about 6 months. Let’s face it, I haven’t been regularly going to the gym since September. I’m sure that has some association with the *W* issue. I stopped going to yoga before the gym entirely - I think I got bored, or it became a “chore” rather than something I enjoyed. Either way, I dusted off my yoga bag (which I love, I got the sushi one) and headed out this morning.

This was a new instructor, one that I wasn’t used to. As we started our session, I realized that this was over a year since I first tried Yoga. I’ll never forget my first attempt - I signed up for a $90, 10 week session through Culver City Adult School. Parking was impossible (worse than the Marina Del Rey Costco on a Saturday) and most of the people in the class were older and out of shape which made me feel at ease - until it started. It was this horrible feeling which accentuated my nervousness about being new and of course, my weight (the *W*).

I was okay with the first few poses - lay on your back, bring your knee to your chest, but then it became more intense. Child’s pose, which requires you to sit on your knees (which is a difficult task to do properly when you weigh a significant amount), put your forehead to the ground, and relax your arms to your sides and BREATHE. Okay, this pose did not work for me with all this *W*. First, when I sat on my knees there was so much, well, meat on my thighs and calves that I couldn’t sit down low enough. Then, bending down to put your head on the ground required folding of all the fat around my waist line. As I recalled to my coworkers the next day (as I was trying to be humorous, but serious at the same time) it is next to impossible to fold over all the fat that is already rolled up when you are standing. I went on about how they needed to have “overweight yoga” classes, where they taught you modified positions for the “curvier” people. I eventually modified this position by spreading my knees apart to give room for my belly to fit as I bent over.

Shoulder stance was a worse story - if you don’t know what this is, you are laying flat on your back, then roll your legs over your head until you are on your shoulders, legs over your head and you are supporting your body with your elbows on the ground and hand on your lower back. Whew! Okay when you weigh almost 190 pounds, this is just not possible. I had no strength in my abdomen (what is that? I couldn’t even find it!) or anywhere to even bring my legs over myself like that. I went home that night and had my boyfriend help me hold my legs as I practiced - but it was absolutely embarrassing. All these people twice my age were able to flip themselves over as I sat struggling in mid-air like a turtle stuck on its shell.

So today, not that I’ve lost that much weight since 6 months ago, but it *felt* different. Perhaps it was the new instructor, or that I’ve been away for so long, but all the poses felt good. All the stretches felt accentuated, and it seemed like my breaths were deeper and slower. Child’s pose? No problem. Shoulder stance? I could do all of the bells and whistles that accompanied it. It was one of the best feelings I’ve had in terms of the *W* issue in a long time.

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For those who don’t know me personally, I will soon put up details of my weight loss journey so you aren’t so totally confused, stay tuned! - Shiz